Happy Birthday, Ma....

Dear Mom,


I miss you.
I miss your 'Hello"... I miss your "Bye beta".. I miss you asking me "are you busy?" when you called me....
I miss you calling me to rant about dad or Anuj when they upset you. ( I wonder who you called when I upset you?)
I miss your hugs.
I miss your knitting. I miss seeing your fingers work that wool or matte so beautifully.
I miss seeing you, nani and masi have your embroidery competitions while Anku and I struggled to finish 2 lines.
I miss your cooking. I miss your special tips. I miss your disgusted looks when I would cook and dirty your kitchen.
I miss you telling me or dad or Anuj to lower our volumes when you were watching TV. And when we wouldnt, I miss how you would just huff out of the room and go grab a book.
I miss you putting on your glasses to read the menus at a restaurant.
I miss you setting me a deadline to get married and beginning my countdown.....

I miss you giving biscuits to the dogs. They miss you too.

I remember you. I remember your laugh. I remember your tears. I remember your voice.
I remember us gossiping at times, whenever we had some piece of tidbit to share with each other.
I remember your eyes, telling me if you were happy or sad with me.
I remember you standing in the kitchen with your apron on..
I remember how when once I surprised you and dad on a weekend, your 1st question was, "Did you leave your job?"
I remember how you used to shut yourself indoors at Holi and wouldn't even let Anuj and me in to pee.
I remember everything, ma.

I remember how even when you were in the hospital in January, you were only concerned that I didnt go to Goa... (maaaa....!!)


I love you.
I love how you cared for us. I love how you loved us.
I love how we never felt alone because you were always there.
I love how you made everything okay...always.
I love how you made me independent.
I love how you made me strong.
I love how you made me emotional too (I totally get my tears from you).....
I love how we both LOVED silver jewellery.

I love your love for dogs ( I get that from you too)

I love your love for ALL animals... the cows in street, the cats in the neighbourhood, the birds.. they all ALWAYS had food in our house..( I am still not that considerate)..
I love how you wouldnt let dad hit me or Anuj... because only you had that right, mom.. :)
I love you.


And I am truly sorry, if I ever hurt you. I am.
Would give anything to have you back. But sadly, thats not how things work here.


But I do have you... In everything I do, I see, I read.... Because you have taught me how to be and how to live.
There is so much more I wish I could have said to you.. then and now....
And On your 50th Birthday, I only wish that you are happy and at peace, wherever you are. you deserve it, ma.
I am sure others say this too, But I TRULY had the best mom ever. She was kind.. she was beautiful...she was honest.. and blunt... she was so hardworking... excellent at whatever she did or set her mind to. She did everything with a flair.


I will say more.. but later.....
I love you ma...